Rape in the Marital Home: Sexual Consent, Custom, and the Law in Contemporary China

Author: Shuning Chen, MA

June 25, 2025

Disclaimer: This article contains explicit discussion of sexual violence and legal cases. Reader discretion is advised.

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On April 16, 2025, the Shanxi “betrothal rape case” reached a final verdict.

The court upheld the original ruling, concluding that “the defendant engaged in sexual intercourse with the victim against her will, constituting the crime of rape.” (Xinhua News, 2025). In a subsequent press briefing, the Chinese judiciary reaffirmed a basic legal principle:

“Sexual activity with a woman must not violate her will, and this remains true regardless of whether the parties are engaged” (Xinhua News, 2025).

Over the past two years, this case has repeatedly trended on Chinese social media platforms. Though the legal facts were relatively straightforward, the case drew intense public attention due to the issues it raised—engagement, a 188,000 yuan (approx. USD 26,000) bride price, and the broader debate around consent. 

This case has acted like a cultural flashpoint, exposing a glaring blind spot in society’s understanding of sexual consent. When the defendant’s family held banners outside the courthouse reading “Return my son’s innocence,” it prompted a critical principle that cannot be avoided:

Sexual autonomy is a fundamental human right, not a tradable asset that can be negated by engagement, bride price, or tradition. The following analysis is divided into three parts: the legal case, the social discourse it sparked, and the evolving understanding of consent.

I. The Rape Case Inside the Marital Home 

On January 30, 2023, a man surnamed Xi met the woman through a matchmaking agency in Datong, Shanxi Province, China. The two quickly began a relationship and verbally agreed on a bride price of 188,000 yuan (approximately $26,000). On May 1, 2023, Xi’s family hosted an engagement ceremony. A written agreement stipulated that if the man ended the engagement, the bride price would not be refunded; if the woman broke it off, the full amount would be returned. That day, Xi’s family paid 100,000 yuan (approximately $14,000) and gave the woman a 7.2-gram gold ring. 

On May 2, following local custom, the woman hosted a banquet for Xi. After the meal, the two went to the 14th-floor apartment—their planned marital home—to rest. Xi suggested having sexual intercourse, but the woman refused, stating clearly that she would wait until marriage. Disregarding her wishes, Xi forcibly engaged in sexual activity. The woman reacted with extreme distress: she attempted to set fire to a bedroom cabinet and living room curtain, fled the apartment via the stairwell to the 13th floor while calling for help, but was then forcibly dragged back upstairs by Xi. During the altercation, he also took away her mobile phone. 

That night, the woman reported the incident to the police.

The apartment in which the sexual assault occurred, referred to as the “marital home” [Image credit: Jimu News, 2025]

Further investigation revealed that the woman had clearly expressed her opposition to premarital sex during the relationship. Her mother also testified that the woman had told her she had been raped by Xi. On December 25, 2023, the Yanggao County People’s Court issued its first ruling: although the couple was engaged under customary tradition, they were not legally married. Xi’s act of engaging in sexual intercourse against the victim’s will constituted rape. The court sentenced him to three years in prison.

The court also found that after the incident, the victim’s family had attempted to resolve the matter through marriage. They entered into negotiations with Xi’s family, but the efforts failed. In the civil portion of the case, the court determined that the 100,000 yuan (approx. $14,000) and gold ring given by Xi’s family qualified as bride price. The woman had returned both items to the matchmaking agency prior to the legal filing. The agency contacted Xi’s mother, but she refused to retrieve them. 

Due to the case’s complexity and public attention, the second trial was delayed three times and finally commenced on March 25, 2025. On April 16, the second-instance judgment was released: the original ruling was upheld, and Xi’s appeal was dismissed.

Even after the verdict, the case continued to spark intense online debate. In response to widespread public confusion, the presiding judge issued a formal clarification addressing three central issues:

1. On the hymen condition: The state of the hymen is a matter of personal privacy and is not a valid legal indicator of whether sexual intercourse occurred. The presence or absence of hymenal tearing varies across individuals and does not reliably prove or disprove sexual activity. 

2. On the facts and evidence: Xi violated the victim’s will and forcibly engaged in sexual intercourse. The evidence presented was clear, sufficient, and credible. The court followed proper procedures and applied the law accurately.

3. On the bride price: The woman had returned the money and ring to the matchmaking agency before the case was filed. The agency notified Xi’s mother multiple times, but she refused to retrieve them.

Despite the ruling, Xi and his family remained dissatisfied and stated their intention to pursue further appeals.

II. The Chaos and Clashing Values

Although the second trial concluded, online discourse did not subside. 

A case that, from the perspective of modern legal norms, should have been straightforward, instead ignited a firestorm of public opinion. This rupture reflects not just a difference in interpretation but a deep-seated conflict between two value systems: one that upholds women’s sexual autonomy as intrinsic and inviolable, and another that views women through a traditional lens—as subordinate, commodified extensions of male identity.

One particularly revealing detail is that the rape occurred on May 2, 2023—just one day after the engagement ceremony. Following the incident, the woman's parents did not initially report the crime or cancel the engagement. Instead, they urged the couple to marry.

According to a report from China Central Television:

“After the incident, the victim’s family, hoping to minimize damage to the woman’s reputation, repeatedly reached out to Xi and his family, urging them to register the marriage as soon as possible. To ease financial pressure on the man, they offered to waive the remaining portion of the bride price and to expedite the inclusion of the woman’s name on the apartment’s deed. Xi did not respond.”

This response is staggering. Even after it became clear that their daughter had been physically overpowered and assaulted, the woman’s parents still insisted she marry her assailant.

The underlying logic is chilling: since intercourse had occurred, the woman could no longer preserve her "purity"—thus marriage was required to salvage her reputation.

The victim’s earlier insistence on abstaining from premarital sex demonstrates that both she and her family took the matter seriously. But this “seriousness” was not only rooted in a purely moral stance. It was more informed by a broader social system in which female chastity is used as a form of capital in marriage negotiations.

To this day, where traditional values persist, a woman’s virginity is considered a marker of worth—an asset used to increase her “bride value,” often enforced by her family or community. In this transactional view, a woman’s body becomes a commodity, exchanged between families to fulfill social and economic expectations.

As media reported, the couple met through a matchmaking service and became engaged after just four months of dating. A bride price of 188,000 yuan (approximately $26,000) was agreed upon.

This financial arrangement fed a wave of online speculation. Some accused the woman of fraud—claiming she had used the engagement and bride price to “scam” Xi, then later accused him of rape.

But when viewed in context, such accusations collapse. The fact that the woman’s family sought to finalize the marriage even after the assault makes clear that the woman’s autonomy was secondary to her family’s decisions. While marriage should be a union between two individuals, decision-making power in this case rested almost entirely with Xi and the woman’s family. Did the woman herself want to marry the man who assaulted her? Did she wish to spend her life with someone who had violated her? Her repeated refusal to reconcile suggests otherwise.

These dynamics reveal that the real debate is not about “fraud” or “bride price,” but about fundamental misunderstandings of sexual consent and bodily autonomy.

Many people questioned, even with outrage: if the couple was engaged and money had been paid, why couldn't they have sex?

This logic is rooted in a historical reality where women had no autonomy for a long time. But the notion that “bride price = lifetime sexual access” contains critical errors.

First, while sexual activity is generally expected within marriage, this expectation does not override the principle of consent. Mutual agreement is always required, regardless of context. As legal scholar Luo Xiang has argued in Consent in Criminal Law,

“Though spouses have the right and duty to cohabit—including sexual relations—this right is a form of request, not enforcement. It cannot be unilaterally realized” (Luo, 2020).

The second, deeper fallacy lies in equating bride price with a purchase of sexual rights. This represents a dangerous substitution of customary practice for legal principle, and undermines the dignity and legality of marriage itself.

Bride price is a cultural relic found in various societies, originally intended to compensate the bride’s family for the loss of labor and kinship. While it continues to exist in many parts of Asia and Africa, it never implies ownership over another person’s body.

Even in regions where bride price and engagement are perceived as informal consent to sex, mutual agreement remains the cornerstone of legality and morality. If either party no longer agrees to the arrangement, the solution should be to dissolve the engagement, not to force sex.

In China, the value of bride prices has soared alongside economic development. Due to long-standing son preference and the effects of the one-child policy, the gender imbalance has led to a shortage of eligible women when it comes to marriage. This has intensified competition among men and driven up the cost of marriage—ironically, a result of entrenched gender inequality.

Some online commenters noted that in rural areas, giving a bride price is often considered tacit permission to have sex, especially after engagement. This belief effectively grants men unilateral sexual authority in marriage, reducing women to objects of ownership.

Such thinking is incompatible with any civilized legal system. Engagement does not constitute a legal marriage. If a man forces sex without the woman’s consent, even after betrothal, it is legally considered rape. Even within marriage, consent remains essential. Sex is not a transferable property, nor is it guaranteed by a marriage certificate.

The ceremonial engagement certificate expressing wishes for marital harmony. [Image credit: Jimu News, 2025]

The fact that such basics remain subject to fierce public debate suggests that societal norms have yet to catch up with legal standards.

Legal scholar Zhusheng Ye has observed that the controversy surrounding this case reflects a deeper shift in public understanding of rape:

“In the past, many believed that rape laws were designed to protect a woman’s chastity. Today, the law protects her sexual autonomy” (Ye, 2025).

III. Sexual Consent and Its Gray Areas 

Yet on a more constructive note, the case has brought broader attention to a once-overlooked but foundational issue: sexual consent. 

Sexual consent refers to a clear and affirmative agreement to engage in sexual activity. As Japanese journalist Shiori Itō, who famously challenged Japan’s silence on sexual violence, once said:

“Having dinner together, drinking, holding hands, or kissing do not constitute consent to sex. Being underage, in a situation where one cannot say no, or in a state of impaired judgment also means there is no consent. Sex without consent is a crime.”

Unfortunately, education around sexual consent remains insufficient. Genuine consent must be explicit, voluntary, informed, and based on equality. Silence or lack of resistance does not imply agreement; true consent requires active and ongoing participation from all parties.

General guideline for consent. [Image credit: Santos-Longhurst, A., Healthline, 2019.]

In practice, however, many continue to conflate engagement, romantic relationships, or social customs with presumed consent. Beliefs such as “engagement makes a couple practically married” or “accepting a bride price implies consent” are widespread—and deeply misguided.

One of the thorniest questions in sexual violence discourse is how to define “voluntariness” when power is asymmetrical. In real life, dynamics such as authority, dependence, or social pressure often make consent ambiguous or coerced.

1. Implicit Coercion in Power Relationships

Power imbalances—between employer and employee, teacher and student, or dominant and dependent partners—can obscure the line between consent and coercion. In a 2017 case at Kyoto University, a professor sexually assaulted a student under the guise of “academic guidance.” The court issued a lenient ruling, citing the victim’s failure to call for help—revealing how outdated standards prioritize physical resistance over psychological coercion (Mainichi Japan, 2017).

By contrast, a landmark ruling in China’s “Teacher Chen” case in Shanghai marked a shift. Chen used his position as a tutor to sexually assault a student. The court found him guilty based on the psychological distress and prolonged fear the student experienced, even in the absence of direct physical violence (Sixth Tone, 2023). This case was one of the first in China to recognize coercion embedded in authority structures as legally equivalent to physical force.

2. Consent Under Intoxication

Consent under the influence of alcohol or drugs remains a contentious legal issue. In the United States, many states use a blood alcohol concentration of 0.08 as a threshold beyond which legal consent is considered invalid. In the UK, the R v. Bree ruling allowed for the possibility of valid consent if the intoxicated individual could still express it clearly.

3. Cultural Inertia and Misconceptions

Traditional gender norms continue to obstruct accurate understanding of consent. In the 2013 Li Tianyi case, public commentary focused on the victim’s late-night activities and clothing rather than the crime itself. During South Korea’s 2020 “Nth Room” scandal, victims were blamed for not reporting abuse sooner. In the Datong case, nearly one-third of online respondents suggested the woman had used the engagement to deceive the man—a reflection of enduring slut-shaming and victim-blaming narratives.

A 2023 survey by Peking University revealed that 43% of respondents born in the 1960s believed marital rape does not exist, and 28% confused sexual consent with chastity or moral virtue (Sohu News, 2023). This indicates that many still view women’s bodies as properties of marriage or family, not as autonomous entities.

4. The Legal and Social Challenge of Marital Rape

One of the most complex areas is the legal recognition of marital rape. Legally, marriage is a civil contract, not a license for unconditional sexual access. Modern legal systems increasingly emphasize that consent must be renewable and revocable—even within marriage.

Sweden became the first country to abolish the marital rape exemption in 1984. The United States followed in 1993, removing this exemption across all states. Though some Chinese courts have handed down convictions for marital rape, full legal recognition and consistent enforcement remain limited.

Attorney Zhong Xialu—who has represented numerous survivors of gender-based violence—observed:

“I’ve handled many sexual assault cases, but marital rape remains rare in court. Most cases involving spousal rape occur after divorce proceedings begin. Even then, successful convictions are uncommon. In practice, many still assume that within marriage, husbands have control over their wives’ bodies. Some women do not even recognize they’ve been raped—having internalized the belief that marriage requires sexual submission. It can take years for them to realize their spouse committed a crime.”

The Datong case, by affirming that neither engagement nor marriage invalidates a woman’s right to refuse sex, represents a legal and cultural milestone. It signals a growing awareness—among both the judiciary and the public—that sexual autonomy is not subject to social conventions or relational roles.

“The hardest part of prosecuting sexual assault,” Zhong remarked, “is proving that the victim did not consent.”

Historically, Chinese law emphasized the “utmost resistance standard”—which required evidence of violent resistance to prove rape. But many victims freeze, particularly when confronted by a physically stronger perpetrator. Does silence equal consent? Does fear not also indicate coercion?

Today, Chinese courts increasingly rely on a coherent chain of corroborated evidence to assess non-consent—even in the absence of injuries. The legal system now leans toward a hybrid approach, incorporating both the “reasonable resistance” model, which considers whether a victim's resistance was reasonable under the circumstances, and the “No Means No” standard, which recognizes that a clear verbal refusal is sufficient to establish non-consent.

“Since 2018,” Zhong noted, “media coverage of sexual assault has grown, prompting deeper public reflection. This, in turn, has pushed legal actors—judges, prosecutors, and police—to reconsider outdated assumptions about consent. Judicial discretion plays a critical role in sexual assault cases. When legal professionals adopt a more gender-conscious perspective, they use that discretion to protect victims more effectively.”

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Glossary

• Autonomy: The capacity and right of an individual to make independent decisions, especially concerning one’s own body and personal choices.

• Bride Price: A traditional payment, often in money or goods, made by the groom’s family to the bride’s family upon engagement or marriage.

• Cultural Flashpoint: A moment, event, or issue that triggers widespread public debate due to its exposure of deep-rooted societal values or conflicts.

• Engagement: A formal or informal agreement to marry.

• Entrenched Gender Inequality: Deeply rooted and longstanding disparities between genders, maintained through cultural, legal, or economic systems that disadvantage women.

• Fallacy: A mistaken belief or flawed reasoning. 

• Female Chastity: A traditional concept that values a woman’s sexual inexperience before marriage, often linked to social expectations, family honor, and perceived marital value.

• Forced Sexual Intercourse: Sexual activity initiated without the consent of one party, typically involving coercion, threats, manipulation, or physical force. In legal terms, it constitutes rape.

• Inviolable: Not to be violated or broken. Describes rights or principles, such as sexual consent, that are considered absolute and protected from infringement.

• Legal Actors: Individuals or institutions—such as judges, prosecutors, police officers, and lawyers—who participate in interpreting and applying the law within the justice system.

• Marital Rape: Non-consensual sexual activity between spouses. Although historically exempt from rape laws in many countries, it is increasingly recognized as a crime.

• Matchmaking Agency: A commercial or social institution that arranges introductions between prospective romantic or marriage partners.

• Renewable: Capable of being re-affirmed or given again. In discussions of sexual consent, this emphasizes that consent must be ongoing and reconfirmed for each encounter.

• Revocable: Able to be withdrawn at any time. Consent, even if previously given, can always be revoked, and continued activity without renewed consent is unlawful.

• Sexual Autonomy: An individual’s right to make free decisions about their own body and sexual activity, including the right to say no at any time, regardless of relationship status.

• Sexual Consent: An explicit, informed, and voluntary agreement to participate in sexual activity. Consent must be ongoing and can be revoked at any time.

• Tacit Permission: Unspoken or implied consent, often assumed based on context or tradition rather than explicitly given—problematic in legal contexts where explicit consent is required.

• Unilateral Sexual Authority: The belief or practice in which one partner assumes the right to initiate or demand sex without mutual agreement, disregarding the other’s consent.

• Utmost Resistance Standard: A now-outdated legal standard requiring victims to show physical resistance to prove lack of consent in rape cases. 

• Victim-Blaming: The act of holding the victim of a crime, especially sexual violence, partially or fully responsible for the harm they experienced, often based on stereotypes or gender norms.

• Voluntariness: The condition of acting by one’s own free will, without coercion or undue pressure—a key component in determining whether true consent has been given.

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Sources

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3. Mainichi Japan. (2017, August 3). Kyoto prof gets suspended sentence for sexually assaulting female student. The Mainichi. https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20170803/p2a/00m/0na/012000c

4. RAINN. (n.d.). What is consent? Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. https://rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

5. Sixth Tone. (2021, June 1). Man's sentencing underscores absence of marital rape law in China. https://www.sixthtone.com/news/1009040/mans-sentencing-underscores-absence-of-marital-rape-law-in-china

6. Sixth Tone. (2023, March 17). Shanghai tutor sentenced for coercing teen into sexual relationship. Sixth Tone. https://www.sixthtone.com/news/1011366/shanghai-tutor-sentenced-for-coercing-teen-into-sexual-relationship

7. Sixth Tone. (2023, August 29). China finally criminalizes marital rape, but convictions are rare. Sixth Tone. https://www.sixthtone.com/news/1011137/china-finally-criminalizes-marital-rape-but-convictions-are-rare

8. Sohu News. (2023, October 30). Survey reveals over 40% of Chinese adults believe marital rape does not exist. Sohu. https://www.sohu.com/a/745059578_121124440

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